Do you have a back story?

by Kay Simpson | Aug 5, 2019 | Uncategorized

Back story.  Who has one?  One of my lessons has been to remember no one is handed a get out of jail free card here. And I think it changes my focus when I remember that the woman across from me has her own story. Perhaps they involve any or all of the following. This is not a comprehensive list but just a start:
Betrayal
Cancer
Abuse
Loneliness
Loss
Addiction
Isolation
Mental illness
Depression
Divorce
Failure
Family of origin wounds.
The loss could manifest itself in so many ways. Loss of job, spouse, dreams, and hopes.

Even if our friend appears strong, brave, and together, if unhealed emotional wounds are not tended to, any small poke can hurt. And we behave like a brat perhaps.

My friend and I giggled as we remembered Paul Harvey’s words-“ and now you know the rest of the story.”

So when the clerk, waitress, friend, or sister snaps, could we re-frame the encounter. What in her is wounded and what needs healing. Could we pray, ask, and reach out. Maybe even offer accountability. Or just plain let it go. Some encounters are short lived but most I just know are God ordained. And what in us needs work. I’m thankful for every crazy, hard lesson. I’m committed to the work. I’m committed to friends that know the counselor appointment will breath life. Eventually. So many tools out there. Heart to hearts. Scripture. Prayer. Whole foods. Exercise. Fresh Air. Healing rest. Yoga. Meditation. Experiencing God. Prophetic words. Community. CHURCH.

The Lord has clearly asked me to share my stories. It’s part of my curriculum. He recently had someone tell me not to dare censor them. If you can relate at all to what I write then He gets the victory. If it pokes you, believe me it slapped me in the face first. No one is required to read, agree, like, or comment. It’s just here to start me thinking and keep me on course.

Am I wrong? Does your back story filter your response and reaction? Do you hear the comment in someone else’s voice?

Who is responsible for our reaction? Even if others around are unaware of your gut reaction, is it their responsibility to intervene. I’m working on boundaries and any codependent behavior I may have unaware. It affects my responses I know. It’s so easy to blame anyone but ourselves. Or take on too much blame. Ugh. Hard stuff.

So when an encounter goes down, take a deep breath. I want to show up and serve. Show love. I certainly have failed. But I won’t give the enemy the satisfaction of giving up. People need our stories friends. The world would have us think that all Christians have it all perfected. And if not they have failed. I’m here to tell you this one does not. But I know where the power, healing, and freedom comes from. Let’s focus on the kingdom more instead of each other. At least as far as blame is concerned. And let’s point each other home.

Climb the mountain and shout from the top. Consider it a huge gift to share and to hear. The Bible is full of crazy stories that went down in history to save the world.

The Heart to Heart Ministry here at Cheerful Hearts is on Revamp and we are adding “telling your story” as a major improvement. The tool we will mainly be using, although we will use several, will be LISTEN TO MY LIFE: Maps for Recognizing and Responding to God in My Story by Sibyl Towner and Sharon Swing. Hilda has gotten to know Sibyl Towner through her Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership Program, and is very excited about adding this component.

What Is The True Definition of Self-Love?

by Kay Simpson | Jan 19, 2019 | Uncategorized

I’ve been in James, mainly when I think of it, which is most days.  I’m not hung up on a daily anything of “having to”.  My bright and insightful friend posted recently about self-care. She received some not so gracious comments stating that it wasn’t biblical. So, the Lord showed up in his wisdom in my reading. In James I found a small treasure tucked away that I don’t recall unearthing before:

James 2:8 “Yes Indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

So that brings us to the point- how do we love ourselves? I’m going to boldly suggest using the word self-love over self-care as I see the word in the scripture, because we must LOVE others as we LOVE ourselves. In today’s world our minds swiftly think of retreats, naps, baths, and yoga, time alone or Netflix with wine and a warm blanket when we think of self-love. Is this truly the wisest journey to loving ourselves (asking for a friend of course)?

What if we actually allowed the Holy Spirit to enter the equation? What if we went beyond the Calgon commercial and got down to the nitty gritty deep soul work required in order for us to love ourselves or even deeper to allow the Holy Spirit to stir where we can accept the love of Christ himself? These principals have manifested themselves to me in my self-love journey at Cheerful Hearts through a Raindrop Treatment and a session using essential oils for emotional release and freedom.

I think of the woman in a broken relationship, maybe there are physical wounds and for sure spiritual ones. What is her first thought of self-love?  Getting out and getting to a safe space comes to mind, but how does she reach a level of self-worth to become willing to retreat? I think of friends who have father wounds and can’t let anyone close enough to show love, including God, THE Father. Where is the “overflow” for her neighbor? What about the woman walking around with a load of shame, while those around her are being strengthened by social media, keeping the shovel of guilt full? What if loving yourself isn’t fun or dreamy or fairy tale wishes after all? What if the best way to show yourself love is through healing and wholeness. After all, the bubbles in the bathwater are fleeting and they burst. Once the water gets cold, the scent evaporates, and the drain is opened, the only thing washed away is surface “dirt.”

We may feel a temporary release, but if the underlying scary stuff isn’t faced head on, it will still be swirling around in our thoughts and hearts come morning. We haven’t truly wrestled anything loose. Society still puts a stigma on “getting help” of any kind.

Today we want it fast, painless, and done for us, rather than to or through us. It’s hard. It hurts. Therefore, we want others to bleed like us. One of my goals has been to show up as the best version of myself for God’s glory. Wow has it been a humbling journey through counseling, being life-coached, being mentored, and icky talk about embarrassing shadows. Did I mention it wasn’t fast or that it is a battle that can last a lifetime? Despite these things, growth happens in the dark unnerving moments when we sit with ourselves, because the supernatural truth of it is that we are never alone. So, the challenge in loving our neighbor is to first embrace self-love. We don’t have to search alone. Ask the Father who has the power to produce the miracle you long for. Seek relationship with Him above all else. Let’s stop focusing on what we produce, the taste of our chocolate chip muffins or how many friends are around the table, because in reality we are exhausted with all the burdens and baggage we fumble to carry. He is the true rest-maker, burden-taker, and lover of our soul.

Matthew 11:28-30 in the Message: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly”

It is work friends, but with Him we can do the hard things. Who do you know that might need your loving overflow in their lives? Your partner, family, friends? Who is your neighbor? Perhaps the ultimate sacrifice is taking responsibility for making our own life the best it can be and part of that responsibility is being open to let God move the mountains in our lives rather than trying to move the earth ourselves.  The power of healing comes from Him and only Him, but we must be a vessel willing to have our hearts healed so that we can love others. It’s a hard but beautiful journey. One I highly encourage.

Just dropping this here so we don’t forget:   

Ministry takes place when…divine resources meet human needs through loving channels to the glory of God. -Warren Wiersbee

Shalom-

Kay Simpson

In Gratitude, I Welcome You to This Space

by Hilda Stewart | Nov 29, 2018 | Uncategorized